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Motherhood a gift or a burden?

Motherhood is a gift of baring a life or having her as a mother figure in your life. Do not waste the opportunity. …never feel pressured as one. Mothers are the emotional backbones of a family. They provide the holding place for everyone’s feelings and do their best to keep everyone from being hurt. Sometimes overworking themselves for a rewarding smile of being wanted or needed.

That does not mean it is rosy. It is the contrary, it takes layers, a deep maturity and wiliness to be one.

As a society, we have to tackle these issues and make it possible for women to pursue motherhood and  career. We know that diverse groups make better decisions and deliver better results, but systemic issues are making it tough to keep diverse perspectives in the room. The good news is that companies who support moms with family friendly policies are going to create a huge competitive advantage for themselves.

Motherhood is not a competition to see who has the smartest kids, the cleanest home, the healthiest dinners, the nicest clothes; motherhood is your journey with your children. Even when they drive you crazy, that is what motherhood is, unconditional love is.

There is no perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each other and each family.

Never compare yourself to other mothers. A lot of mothers are losing their minds… some women just hide it better than others do.

You will never look back on life and think “I spent too much time with my kids” so often, children are not allowed to have grumpy moods, bad attitudes, disrespectful tones, or bad days, yet we adults have them all the time. None of us is perfect.

Question yourself are you mom enough? Because there is miracle in a mothers hug, it sets children self-esteem for life. Not all mothers are capable of giving a meaniful hug. Which costs nothing.

There are mothers that have carried a child with their body, slept with them on their chest. They have kissed little toes and wiped away tears. They have been vomited on peed on and spent sleepless nights caring for their children. However, they say they “wouldn’t have it any other way. Their bodies isn’t magazine perfect but when they look in the mirror, they see a mom and there is no greater honour, gift ,love, and blessing than that.

Life is not perfect, still be grateful you have a life. You may not have all the people, success and health you wish to have in your life, but in your heart, you do sleep with tears in your eyes, still grateful you wake up with a smile on your face to see those creatures you brought to this world.

Not only do you have to remind yourself every day that the version of motherhood in your head, the mom guilt, the imperfection, the worry is not the same version of motherhood that your kids see. They see a mom who loves them fully and forever no matter what.

Society has made  motherhood unattractive  and a burden, but realistically it depends on you.  

Motherhood represents self-love. What you want for yourself too. They are anchors of love, in hard times they hold situations down. Gifted multitaskers, even when their hair turns grey due to stress. They stick by the sides of their kids because that is how loyal they are. Sometimes they are not financially stable to indulge themselves with good cloths to improve their appearance due to sacrifices that they have to opt due to family pressure. 

It is important to have a balance for mom’s mental health it is not easy to look in that mirror and look at the evidence of stretch marks due to giving birth. It is a constant reminder of the hours of pain, due to labour ,endurance sometimes the evidence that death was so close, beauty for bringing a human been to this world.

Do not get me wrong, being a mother is a gift, very profound one. It  is a great celebration of life and stage of our lives, even if it almost took yours away.

In this den ages mothers are doing a magnificent job because it is not easy to bring kids up this days without asking yourself are you mentally ,physically, spiritually able for it. 

It does take years from you, it is important not live in a lie, but to   stand in your truth no matter what it costs.

Single, married divorced, separated, illness, death, be it any circumstances  children are permanent, they are the most important part of the jigsaw of life of a mother. They come first. Never be silent because you cannot buy time. Being unhappy is not the best choice. Boundaries and balances  is necessary.

Motherhood is a good thing, it is also important not to forget yourselves and  be at  peace with yourself. 

By Ivy Barreto 

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