Think long-term By Nengi
Why? We all ask. Why can’t I have everything working so perfectly without any challenges?
My mum will say ‘’if wishes were horses, beggars would ride’’.
Lift is not a bed of roses, but it is beautiful if we work by the rules.
The same way an untreated cut can result in infections and prolonged illness, stress can have a similar impact. When it comes to mental health, the main area of focus is the long-term effect of the current distress on one’s relationship as well as health.
A lady shared her experience of chronic stress with me. She was married to a man who treated her very poorly and left her with three children to raise. It wasn’t a big deal that he left. According to her, she had peace while he was out of her life; at least there was no more physical and emotional abuse. The main challenge was the aftermath of the emotional abuse of her self-esteem, the struggle of raising the children all by herself. Balancing being the breadwinner in the home and also the mother and father the children needed. This lady was in a lot of pain as she barely had people around to help with the kids and a shoulder her pain.
Five years later, the story was no longer the same. The initial problem was a broken marriage which had left her with the responsibility of not just a mother but a father. As at this time, she was very healthy with no medical history. Not long, she received a medical report of heart disease. The big question is this, what caused it?
The one big thing I have learnt from speaking to people who’ve been through mental health challenge is this; mental stress has a devastating long-term effect.
Just like a physical illness, you know when you have swelling in any part of your body, you see it. It is then easy to show it to your doctor and diagnose the cause and hence stop continuous swelling. In this case, the long-term damage of mental stress is not usually known until fully developed.
There are a lot of biological changes in our body when one goes through chronic stress like the above story mentioned.
This story is one out of many other things that can result in chronic stress. Some other cases might be a break up from a relationship, a loss of a loved one, financial hardship etc.
Stress is not to be seen as something bad. It is there to help us achieve our daily goals. Stress only becomes dangerous when it is elongated over a long period. When the body undergoes chronic stress resulting from the above, it affects the brain. In the event of daily stress, the body releases a hormone called Cortisol. This hormone is what makes you immediately run when you hear the sound of a gunshot outside your office. It is a good hormone, but it becomes dangerous if released over a prolonged period.
Cortisol continues to be released when one undergoes a stressful situation over a long period. Each time it is released the heart beats faster and releases more blood to handle the situation. The consistent release of Cortisol and sustained heart stress and blood pressure eventually result in heart attack and even stroke.
Cortisol, on the other hand, inhibits the brain function and over a prolonged period results in forgetfulness, poor judgement and depression.
People who experience chronic stress face challenges in their relationships. The moodiness and irritability caused by increased cortisol become a problem in relationships. It might make it hard to keep friends. Ever wondered why most couples fight more when there is a financial challenge. It is the result of the same irritability. All of a sudden, one begins to get angry at things they would have overlooked. Good knowledge of this will help people live peacefully with their friends or colleagues who might be going through intense stress. Their current moodiness, isolation and irritability have nothing to do with you. Your wife is not constantly giving out because she is mad at you. She may be reacting to stress from work and home. A good understanding of this will prevent people from responding to these behaviours thus resulting in a constant fight.
The one big lesson I have learnt is this ‘’People’s behaviour towards you is a product of their reality and nothing to do with you’’. The next time you try to be friendly to somebody and they respond back rudely, don’t feel so bad. They are dealing with their stress. Before you shout back at your friend take a step back and think ‘’is she under stress?’’
While it is okay to justify the irritability and moodiness, one should also remember that people may not deal with these excuses for a long time. Homes have been shattered for this reason. A lot of people have lost relationship for the same reason.
Before you allow your current stress overtake you, think about the damaging effect on your health. Is it worth dying over? Is it worth the stroke? Is it worth losing your friends? Life is full of a lot of challenges which can result in chronic stress. Be careful not to allow them take over you.
