Children are gift. Embrace them, love them, take care of them, treat them with utmost care, appreciate them, encourage them, teach them, invest in them, believe in them. Don’t ever let a child feel any less than other children. Children have a very delicate heart, yes they tend to forgive easily but trust me a child remembers everything. A child remembers when you praise him and when you pull him down with your words. A child remembers that wicked aunt or uncle that spanks or scolds him at the slightest as well as he remembers the ones that always hugs and buys him gifts.
Learn to correct a child and not abuse the child when he does wrong, after all he’s only just growing up, how would he necessarily learn without making mistakes. Also, encourage him when he does right, don’t make comparisons and say some other child got it right long before. Instead let him know that he’s special and that’s why he figured it out in his own time. Don’t let a child feel compelled to do things he doesn’t want to just because you expect it of him, like in choosing a particular career path, it is solely his or her decision what to be, as a parent all that is needed is your advice and support.
Be your child’s greatest fan. If it’s for a good cause, cheer him on, emit positive vibes, don’t let your negativity or lack of interest in whatever interests your child rub off on the child, just try your best to be as supportive as you can be. Attend school sporting and social events in which your child would be participating as a way of showing support, create time to join in rehearsals at home during the course of the preparation, do what you may to cheer him on. Don’t pressurize the child to being a fan of a particular sport, event or hobby, don’t force him into participating either, if he fancies it, fine, but if not just encourage him to get something he’s passionate about and like I’d always say if it’s for a good cause and not harmful to him or those around, then give your support. Same way, encourage your child to make friends, don’t isolate him or her, guide them in choosing the right company and let them have relationships outside the home
Be your child or children’s friend. This is a very important task for every parent. Most parents have this way of handling their homes like a barracks and forming an officer-civilian relationship with the children, in which the father as the head of the house is the most unreachable person in the house, he is seldom available in the house, uninvolved in the children’s personal lives, school activities, relationships etc. He doesn’t even care to remember anniversary dates, barely joins in on family celebrations except one that is celebrated in his honour of course. His sole concern is to go out and hustle to meet his family’s needs, which he does almost perfectly well. For a father like this to be approached by his children, they have to go through the ‘vice admiral’ of the house, which is the mother. All complaints and demands are made through her to be communicated to the father, this results in the children growing up without really knowing their father because they barely had a father-child relationship with him, it leads to the children growing up scared of the father which is often mistaken as a mark of respect. In homes like this, the mother is usually closer to the children but when it feels like the truck load of responsibilities is crashing down on her she just leaves everyone to sort out themselves.
Be very cautious of your child or children’s security. Never let them become more accustomed to strangers than they are to you, this is actually one of the reasons why it is very important to form a strong bond and alliance with your children, by being more than a parent and more of a friend, be your child or children’s best friend before any other best friend. When you have gotten to a certain level of parent-child intimacy with your child or children, it makes it very easy for them to trust you with any and everything and it makes communication a lot more easier. Some children are forced to forming rather deep relationships with strangers and outsiders because of the inaccessibility of their parents. Sometimes due to constant absence or negligence on the part of the parents, the child or children is left in the constant care of maids, neighbours, friends, relatives etc Still wondering why there is a high rate of child abuse and molestation? Children that are always in the care of strangers are at a bigger risk of being molested and abused. It’s worse when they can’t talk to their parents about it due to fear and lack of communication. Knowing your child and allowing your child to know you in the process of bonding would help to build trust and confidence and this would in turn help in effective communication, the child would trust his or her parents enough to tell them everything. Don’t ever choose a strangers words over that of your child without even paying attention and listening carefully to your child’s side of the story, just because the other person is older doesn’t make him or her wiser or more honest than your child.
Also, learn to be your child’s hero, set good examples, live responsibly and carefully, you are your child’s first role model, create a good impression. Children would imitate what they see or hear mummy and daddy do or say, try not to give room for irresponsibility. Try to censor your actions and words when around the children, whatever it is that you don’t want to see or hear your child do or say, don’t expose them to it and if it’s something that can’t be watched or they can’t be protected from for too long, teach them when they are of age, a typical example is sex education, many parents shy away from having such discussions with their children forgetting that we are in a world where sex is sold at every corner, why not teach them the true implications of sex and even relationships and marriage before they go about it the wrong way. It is the responsibility of parents to direct a child to the right path, don’t do otherwise and don’t neglect your responsibilities towards your child for the sake of the future of that child.
